Clinging to my Daddy.

God spoke to me a lot this summer about being his child. My weeks on the lake were characterized by me realizing the absolute truth in the statement "I am a child of God." And then running into his open arms, feeling the embrace, and resting in his fatherly love. After giving my driver message during week 8 on this exact passage, I felt like I had a good grasp of me being his daughter and the need for me to cling to my daddy. But God totally numb-chucked me again while I was a barney on the Delta for the last week of camp.

My week on the Delta was the toughest week I've ever had on the water. Through a host of different situations I felt alone, unsupported and without purpose. I struggled a lot with finding a sense of why I was there. Prior to the week starting, I was reminded to not cling to a role, but cling to a person. And I understood that, I'd been hearing it all summer...and I wasn't a driver anymore, I couldn't cling to the position I had been in all summer. I thought, "I got it, don't cling to a role." In my head I had it down. Throughout the week, I realized (with the help of some other staff) that I wasn't clinging to a role...but I also wasn't clinging to my daddy. I was clinging to my driver team, I was clinging to the place of Shasta, and I was clinging to the experiences I had throughout the summer.

By the end of the week, I was broken in a million pieces, but I was in my daddy's arms. I had no where else to go, no one else to run to, nothing else to cling to. I ran back to my daddy and I clung to him with all I had.

Yeah, God called me to the Delta...but ultimately he called me back to himself, to his loving embrace. And I had no idea how far away I was.

Being at home, this has continued to challenge me. The challenge of looking nowhere but Him for that fatherly love, the challenge of not clinging to what happened this summer or what is to come in SLO. I know that I need to cling to my daddy and rest in his arms. And honestly, there's no where else I'd rather be.