On Monday, I read Romans in my quiet time. Romans 1:21 says, "For even though they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks, but became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened."
This verse really convicted me. For though I know God, I have not been honoring him as God in all areas of my life. I have not been letting him be God, I have not been faithful to his daily calling on my life, etc. I have not been giving thanks, and my thinking about myself, God, and the world, has been futile. I wasn't sure on Monday how that related to being a child of God (carrying forward the I Am from the week before), but I could sense that there was some type of call to be more of a child of God that I was choosing to be. Almost as though living as a child of God stands in opposition to living as Romans 1:21 describes.
This week, I've continued to be mindful of this child of God imagery. I don't get like a distinct picture of what that looks like, but there is a distinct feel or sense that I have when I know the Holy Spirit is bringing that truth to mind. Yeah, I'm redeemed from the hand of the enemy, but I haven't been able to shake that I am a child of God. I am called to live as a child: I am called to live out of trust in my father, to let him be God, and to give thanks in all things.
My times with the Lord have been pretty dry in the last 1-2 weeks, and I couldn't/can't quite put my finger on why. I know some of it is the ebb and flow of authentic relationship, but it has seemed to go a step beyond that. But this morning, the image of being a child (which I can't actually describe, other than to say there's a distinct sense that goes along with it) resurfaced. It was like my soul resonated with the truth of being a child of God, and I almost pictured myself standing as a four year old in front of my heavenly Father. My hands are behind my back, and I have my four year old serious face on trying to tell my Father that I'm not keeping anything from him. It's nothing big... it's just one extra crayon when he's asked me to hand them all over... but he's asking for it nonetheless and he knows as well as I do that I'm holding back.
There is no completion or happy ending to this image, except to say that I walked away this morning with a clearer understanding of this I Am statement and what it looks like to actually live out of the truth of it.
Emily you are a child of God... and you know exactly what being a child of God requires of you. So hand to your Father what he has gently asked for, and patiently waits for. Because neither of you are going anywhere until you do.
Oh the futile, defiant thinking of a four year old!
oh how i loved this image emily. nuff said.
ReplyDelete